Monday, July 27, 2015

The Gifts of Life. Welcome, Precious Children, Welcome....

My heart is full tonight. I’ve been trying to process and sort out the last couple of weeks with little success. Until today.

I’ve been struggling through my grief since Jillian died. One day at a time, one tear at a time. I hear her voice, “Fall seven times, Stand up eight”. I know, honey. I hear you. I do try. Am I trying hard enough? I think I am. But I miss you. I’m angry. And there are days that I just really don’t care. I love my children. I love my family and my friends. And yet…

The summer is screaming by me, with no signs of slowing down. I’m not slowing down. I was hoping that our long awaited vacation would help with some of that. Would force me to slow down and just be.  And it did.

Just before we left for a week at the cottage I’ve rented the last few years, I was admitted to the hospital with a kidney stone. I’m rarely sick, and having to come to terms with the fact that I’m not immune to illness rattled me. But what really opened my eyes is the health I’d been taking for granted. I’d been running, chasing, hiding and not appreciative of the blessing I live with every single day. My health. I’m ashamed. This is not the first time God wacked me over the head to get my attention. J

On a starlit evening, while fishing with my family, I look up to our vast universe, shining and blinking in all its majesty. I’m brought down to the level where I need to be. Grateful. Grateful for my family. Grateful for our Universe, and grateful for the gift of life. 

"I am here tonight. I am alive. I'm with my family, and I'm making memories. It's a pretty big deal". 

Today. Today my world has been blessed with two beautiful new souls. My twin granddaughters. I’m overwhelmed with the beauty of it all. The miracle of birth. The love, the strength and the unbreakable bond of family.

Thank you Lord, for Your everlasting gift of life and for all of your continuous blessings. Thank you for Joshua and Kaytie. Please continue to watch over them in the weeks and months ahead as they care for their children.  

Welcome, precious girls. Your Mimi loves you.

Sydney Jillian Hayes 6lbs, 2oz
Cheyenne Julia Hayes 5lbs 2oz

~Peace and Love