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The billboards in Grand Rapids, Michigan went up today. The
beautiful people on the billboards this time are those who have melanoma or
have died from melanoma due to tanning bed use. One person in the US dies from
melanoma each hour. Each hour! The pain and destruction this disease causes
long after that person is no longer here is almost impossible to fathom. So
many grieving families shattered by a disease that may have been prevented by
staying away from a stupid tanning bed. I would give anything if I had known.
But I didn’t know, so now all that’s left is to try and
share my experience with others, by tapping into that deep well of emotion,
digging deeper and deeper, hoping that somehow I can explain this place I’m at.
Exposing the things I try and shove down. To help someone who is really
struggling with their situation. Whatever that may be. To know you aren’t alone
in this.
There are things that may be helpful to keep in mind when
someone you know has lost a child. Below is just a glimpse into the window of a
grieving heart.
When you ask me how I’m doing, and I reply that I’m fine.
I’m not. I lie to you. I’m not sure you can handle the real me. The real “me”
died with a melanoma cancer diagnosis. I’m grieving the loss of innocence for
the life I had planned. (I’m a planner so this is especially difficult). So I
protect you, and I protect me.
Before Jillian died, I blogged about The Face of Melanoma,
and how a person with Stage IV melanoma can look as if they are healthy. It is
much the same with a person in mourning. They wake up, they go to work,
participate in life. You probably wouldn’t know that they are bleeding inside.
You can’t see it, unless we feel safe enough to tell you about it. But even
then, we are very cautious with whom we share our “pearls”.
When we celebrate a holiday or a special event, there is always
that empty spot at the table. Mother’s Day is coming up. A toughie, and the
white elephant is lurking about. We will always grieve that empty spot, and
wonder what this occasion be like if you were with us. 
I think we need to slow down. Slow down and feel. Appreciate
the ones that enter into our lives and get to know that person. They may be
hurting in some way we can’t even imagine. Our life is a story. Who’s going to
tell our stories once we are gone? How will the world know we were even here? Each
of us has gifts that have been given to us. I believe we can all use those
unique gifts to make a difference in this world. How can we help to make this
one wild and beautiful life a better place? Only you know what that is for you.
Oh, God. We have to make this count. Because we only get one chance at it.
As May, Melanoma Month approaches, many of my melanoma
friends will be involved in projects sharing melanoma awareness. I’m excited to
see what they have planned this year. We CAN make a difference. And because of
you, and all of your generous donations toward the billboard, we are doing just
that.
In 2015, it is estimated that there will
be 73,870 new cases of melanoma in the United States
and 9,940 deaths from the disease.
Could this really happen to me? Yes. It most certainly can.
~Peace and love
Billboards will be displayed in Grand Rapids, Michigan:
April 27-May 31, 2015
I-196 .3 mi E/O Chicago Drive SS Facing East
US-131 .5 mi S/O West River Drive WS Facing North
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