The Real Deal..

So. Here we are. It has been three years, and three months since Jillian was first diagnosed with melanoma. Two years since she was diagnosed as Stage IV melanoma. Two years since she had half her liver ripped out of her body. Two years since I’ve slept through the
night without waking up with this heavy ball and chain that follows me through my day. At work, running errands. All. Day. Long. And then at night. Every night. And TWO YEARS that Jillian has undergone numerous treatments, and endured all of it without complaint. I am ashamed at my weakness compared to her.

 For those of you with children, this is your worst nightmare. All the hopes and dreams you have for your child. Shattered. Changed. To see them go through what should be the very best times of their lives….college, moving into an apartment, a new career. Their whole life in front of them with only the sky as their limit. Interrupted. You just can’t sugar coat it.

And yes, I am mama bear. I will do everything in my power to protect my children. Especially if they are injured, as Jillian most defiantly is. If you have issue with it, step aside. This mama bear attitude is what motivates me to fight this beast. To support my daughter. It’s what keeps me going, and helps me to stay focused on raising awareness to this very devastating cancer.

It helps me to see the bigger picture, and to know that I’m not alone in this. Because the blessings continue to be revealed to me. Through my family, my friends. My melanoma community. I know God has a plan. And its big.

I am not happy, but I am motivated.

Peace.