Friday, August 31, 2012

"I believe in Miracles"

I have spent many, many evenings in the emergency room these last few years. My dad has congestive heart failure, diabetes, and a whole list of ailments that has landed him there. Tuesday evening, however, the ER was a whole new experience for me.

 Jillian has been experiencing all sorts of new symptoms the last two weeks. They come on slow, they creep up on you when you’re not looking. You look back, and you can see them all, each one flashing a neon warning sign. Tingling and numbness in her left thumb and forefinger. Increased weakness on her left side. Headaches that are relieved with Tylenol, increased headaches that are not. Light headedness, fatigue, occasional vomiting. Dropping things, bumping into things…..each one of these things on their own are creepers…put them all together and they spell trouble.

 Jillian and I arrived at U of M’s ER at 6:00 pm on Tuesday, after a three hour drive. The admission part of our stay went quickly, the rest of the visit dragged on into the night. SO many questions, IV’s, neurological exams, blood work, MRI’s, and waiting for results.

 I am blessed with the ability to work from home. Each time we have a dr. appointment, I take my computer with me and I work. While waiting for Jillian to return from her MRI, I was instant messaging one of my co-workers, Staci. Staci has become a part of our family, and a huge support for me. I’m messaging her, “Its taking so long…she’s been in the imaging room for almost three hours…I know something is going on…..where is my Miracle Stac? “

 It took her quite a while before she responded to me. But then the message box popped up on my screen. I had a clear image of her just then, tears streaming down her face, struggling to say the right thing, the thing I needed to hear.

 "Jillian IS your miracle, Sue".
 "You’re Miracle is Jillian".

 And with those simple words, I was reminded once again that the Miracles in our lives are all around us, every single day. I have too many Miracles to count. My four precious children, Jonathan, Joshua, Jillian, and Jennie. My new daughter in law, Kaytie, my two incredible grandchildren, Spencer and Charlotte, my parents, Jillian's fiance', Steve, Jonathan’s sweet girlfriend Ashley, and my wonderful supportive family and friends.

 As I was driving to my Gilda’s club meeting last night, I had another image. With tears streaming down my own face this time, I was placing one of my Miracles in God’s loving, open arms. Right where I know she will be safe when I’m not with her. Right where she needs to be, all loved up and comforted, and protected while she is away this weekend at the cabin. I know He will watch over her for me.

 Miracles come in all shapes and sizes. Some even have four legs. This holiday weekend, love up on some of yours.


 The photo is a tattoo Jillian’s sister, Jennie, created in her honor:

 “got this for my sister, praying for you every day. God won't put you through anything you can't handle♥”


  1. I love you so much my dear, wonderful friend.

  2. Our love and many prayers are with you.

  3. As I've told you before, you are a sister-of-my-heart...I am always in your corner. Enjoy all your miracles this weekend, and every day. Love, hugs, & prayers.

  4. Sue..I have been following your story for sometime now and you amaze me with your strength. More so Jillian as she is facing this horrible monster but....she's not alone. I continue to hold up her and your family in prayer as each day is a special gift and we take the good with the bad always trusting that his plans are greater than ours. I will never understand why melanoma and why it acts the way it does and i guess those whys will only be answered when i meet god but he never fails us. praying for your continued strength.

  5. I have no words that can provide comfort. I simply wanted to remind you that I am thinking, wishing, hoping, and praying Jillian receives good news soon. Praying for your comfort.

    Lots of love coming from Virginia.

  6. Thank you everyone for your kind words of love and support. And especially for your prayers. :)