I’m a blogger. So I guess I’ll blog.
May is Melanoma Awareness Month. We are on Day 3. For quite
some time, I’ve been trying to limit my activity on social media. When Jillian
first died, I was a mad woman trying to promote awareness to this horrific
disease. Billboards everywhere, TV interviews, calls and emails with people
touched in some way by melanoma….I couldn’t stop. I had to share what I knew, I
had to keep Jillian’s name alive. I was horrified by the thought that she would
be forgotten. I did not want another family to experience the searing grief
that we do.
I began to realize that all of this activity was hurting me.
I would scroll through Facebook and read the stories. Stories of young children
fighting for their lives. KIDS! Stories about young wives and husbands trying
to pick up the pieces of their lives after their spouse has died. How do they
deal with the aftermath? How can they possibly explain this to their young
children? “Daddy is in Heaven, sweetheart”. “Mommy loved you so much, she’ll be
watching over you and will always be with you”. (I want them here with
me!)
And the photos of the scars. Some of them would literally
turn my stomach and make me sick. So much mutilation.
But let’s not forget the people I have known and loved that have
died from this disease. The Melanoma community is a tight knit group of
individuals. We support each other, we share, we cry and we love. And when one
of them dies, we all grieve. It brings back every single moment I experienced
with Jillian. AND IT HURTS!!!
Mothers and Fathers who have lost their children to
melanoma, swimming in grief. How does that work? I can safely say, not very well.
Parent's aren't supposed to bury their children.
Parent's aren't supposed to bury their children.
And then, we have the dear friends that we have grown to
know and love. Some we have even met in person. The ones whose melanoma has progressed.
We stand by helplessly. We pray for them. I hate it.
It makes me angry when people know the dangers of
the sun and tanning beds but they choose to go ahead and risk their lives in
spite of the warnings. Even the people who knew Jillian personally. I wonder if
they truly understand that they are not only hurting themselves, but they are
hurting the ones that love them. The ones that depend on them. Good grief.
I cannot change the world. I can only change me and do what
is right for me on this day. This moment. And it is always changing.
For this Melanoma Month of May, 2017, I will pull up my big
girl pants and fight for you. I will continue to post information in the hopes
that you listen. I will do this in spite of the pain it causes me. We all do in
our grassroots community. I’m not alone in this, not by a long shot. We do this
for YOU. And for those that love you.
So, when you roll your eyes and move past these incessant
melanoma awareness posts in your news feed this month, think about the
intentions behind them. Perhaps we might just save a life. Maybe it’ll be
yours.
Maybe mine.
~ Peace
